disconnect me

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2009/11/26 || 10:53 am

Hi NyonNyon! =D

Apart from retarded facebook msgs such as "happy almost birthday"
which I think is totally retarded.. Life has pretty much been the same. =)
I got sore red eyes twice in a week but the first was not TOO bad so it faded by the time I was reaching college, but today's was a disaster. I was tearing throughout morning. =(

but I really want to say THANK YOU to Stephay and family for having me over, being super nice to me and all. =) Only one complaint, they were "too nice". LOL =)

Suddenly I miss the ALSCO people. Sure I still see them around, but we hardly have time to say anything apart from a greeting. The seniors have left and the juniors are ignoring us.. I do not know what is the matter.
The past few days in college, people have been meeting me and saying things such as "o, I didn't notice you." or "O I didn't realise it was you". Have I changed? OR a 1 month absence have erased my presence from people's minds? Neither seem particularly soothing.

I feel weird. I do not know why. I just want this nightmare to end. but I have no right to complain... I KNOW.

♣

2009/11/23 || 4:49 am

So I'm staying with stephay and potato was "protesting". LOL. I think someone is jealous! LOL XP
Furniture shopping has been horrifying and tiring but I think I finally have my bed frame and mattress settled. The bathroom cabinet and mirror are settled as well. ^-^
I like the sofa and coffee table and tv cabinet! So I hope we are settling on that. =) the one thing that I cannot decide on is the wardrobe. Should I get a 3-feet or 4-feet one? Hmm.. And when will it all finally look like a really nice cosy home? I'm excited!

And the other little stuff.. I miss coco and storm

♣

2009/11/20 || 11:53 am

I took a few more pictures but I am beyond lazy to upload them today since I have to connect the iPhone to the laptop.

I don't really know what to blog about,

but my CONGRATS to everyone who has finished their AS exams.

FINALLY! Right? =) Teehee, so a weekend of chilling out and it's back to college for Sunway A-level students. I am not sure how I am reacting to that yet. To be happy I am meeting most of my friends? Or to be upset I have to start waking up early and actually use my brain?

BLEAH.

The dance classes are going alright. As a co-teacher, yes, CO-TEACHER, I have stretched my patience thin with some students but several of them show potential. While some seem to be in fear constantly, some do not bother at all. Sigh. But I should be focusing on my performance with my mummy. I think it will be big. BLEAH. Truth be told, I am starting to get cold feet, ALREADY.

and Musical is starting, again? I am not too sure, but I intend to find out. =)

I need to pack stuff up again, clean up the new place, and the anticipation comes and fades along with apprehension, which reminds me that I have an injection due tomorrow. *yikes*

which also reminds me about Coco's first injection.

The vet came and it was raining cats and dogs.

My storm and the neighbour's Blackie were barking their heads off, but I was only interested in getting Coco out from the house. When I carried her, for the first time, she struggled and cried. She LOVES being held, but I suspect that the dogs warned her about the evil vet... Hence when the injection was administered, she practically WAILED.

lol... Coco is just adorable la. =)

and Storm displayed her hatred for the vet blatantly.

I love my babies.

Even though Coco bit my palm and left a HOLE (small but deep enough). Sigh.

I'm crazy

♣

2009/11/19 || 5:18 am

I was craving for something to eat and my parents took me to Secret Recipe and we had nice cakes.

Tiramisu with flat white coffee for daddy

and Chocolate Walnut & Earl Grey for me

(but in actual fact we shared it all =D)

and I think it is starting to become an obsession but here's my little darling

I tried getting her to pose for the camera but she was distracted

Still distracted

and then she seemed to close her eyes for a snooze. LOL

and when I discovered more pictures of when I was younger.. =D

I think this is CUTE

and here's my.. first birthday? Or second..

♣

2009/11/18 || 12:24 pm

I thought I should not blog about it,

but then again I felt that my blog should be truthful and I should not have to sensor myself excessively. Plus, I feel that it will never be revealed who I am blogging about, and the chances of people reading it is already low, the chances of the right person reading it and knowing it is about them, is almost close to nil. Hence, what is there to worry about?

I was having a bad day, due to the unexpected turn of events, but I remember promising, so I kept to my word. Maybe I was over sensitive, maybe you did not mean it, but you sounded bored and wanting to get rid of me. I felt hurt, and perhaps in a weird way I even felt jilted, unwanted. However, I know I should not keep it in heart, so I am blogging about it so that I can let go of it. =) I hope it will pass.

RuiAnn just called. =) I am so glad to talk to her. I miss her. =D

It is not time. It is not the place. It is just all wrong. but I will still stand strong. It is all just an experience, for me to grow. =) and I thank you for that. =)

but I am hoping to be strong enough for all this.

Jiayou.

♣

2009/11/16 || 6:58 am

Overgrown eyebrows and messy hair seems to be the least of my problems.

My eczema is taking a turn for the worse while my sinus is causing continuous swollen eyes.

Bleah.

but where all the bad things end (including a cancelled flight and a 2hour30minutes delay before I managed to leave for home), I came home to meet the new puppy

and her name is affectionately Coco. =) Like a nickname for chocolate, and as beautiful as Chanel's founder Coco. =)

This little darling is so adorable! (or I should say adoraBEL)

I was told not to give in but on the other hand, I was told to be the bigger person. The bottom line is that I tried, but again in vain. I feel rude not to inform, but then the door has been shut in my face. Hence I believe I have tried and it is no longer a matter of courtesy. It has never been easy, but with each time it happens, I grow stronger and more immune, and time and again I believe I will be able to do it, albeit it is never easier.

and the trip to Sabah was splendid. I miss my cousins. I am just glad I am home. Anyway, here is a picture for all to see. =P

I want to take a family picture this year too!

but before we move on, here's the plane I took to Kuching. The new airbus... (okay, maybe not SO new anymore)

and here is a picture of the tiny durians we saw at the Orang Asli market. =)

Before you stare in awe, check out the RED durian!!!! LOL

and yes, your eyes are not deceiving you, I caught the pig running across the road and snapped a picture.

It knows how to dodge cars too!

and I managed to dig up some from the past..

Here's the most recent in the lot..

I don't remember the years.. but this was taken when I lost a front tooth.. Hence the refusal to smile at all.

and this I have no recollection whatsoever.

(but I will admit I think I look cute)

♣

2009/11/13 || 8:45 am

Holy crap, I alsmot could not sign in.. and I just made the changes and ammendments now. I hope it is not too late, but it really should not be, since the entry is technically not close yet.

It's already Friday, by this time on Sunday, I should be on my way to the airport, ready to fly back to my side of Malaysia, even though I must be honest and say that I am very attached to this side. Things have been happening, and I wish I got to meet Janice and Andrew as well. Bleaup.

The disappointment shall not be masked for there was more than one attempt which was ignored. Perhaps it's time for a change. I realised that when you are close to someone, even though you are not close physically, the bond can still be there. =) Damn Nick though, I wish he was not that smart and did not get the scholarship so he would still be in sunway. BLEAH.

People change and mature over time, and difference will grow and perhaps keep others who were away apart. Sometimes I don't think I know who you are anymore, but then when I look into the mirror, I realised a stranger looks back at me! What has time done to you and me?

Will time repair the wounds left behind?
It seems like just yesterday that we were laughing and frolicking, having fun. But you were not the first, and I doubt that you will be the last, who have inflicted this.. Maybe my judgement is impaired, maybe I expect too much, but I think that like how the waves wash away the footprints, the hurt will fade away. =)

Jiayou christabel.
Seeing putu will definitely cheer me up. =D

♣

2009/11/11 || 6:58 am

Ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｍｙ　ｓｅｃｏｎｄ　ｄａｙ　ｉｎ　Ｓａｂａｈ．
Ｔｈｅ　ｗｅｅｋ　ｉｎ　Ｓａｒａｗａｋ　ｈａｓ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｔｉｒｉｎｇ，　ｂｕｔ　Ｉ　ｍｅｔ　ｕｐ　ｗｉｔｈ　Ｇｒａｃｉａ．
Ｍｙ　ｇｒａｎｄｍａ　ｉｓ　ｉｎ　ｇｏｏｄ　ｈｅａｌｔｈ　ｂｕｔ　Ｉ　ｆｅｌｔ　ｗｅｉｒｄ　ｗｉｔｈ　Ｇｒａｃｉａ．　Ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｈａｓ　ｃｈａｎｇｅｄ　ｂｏｔｈ　ｏｆ　ｕｓ．．

Ｃｈｉｅｎ　Ｗｅｎ，　ｙｅａｈ，　ｍｕｍｍｙ　ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ａ　ｐｕｐｐｙ．　＝Ｄ　Ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｗａｉｔｉｎｇ　ｆｏｒ　ｉｔ．．　ｍａｙｂｅ　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ａｔ　ｈｏｍｅ　ａｌｒｅａｄｙ．．　Ｉ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｋｎｏｗ．．

ＲｕｉＡｎｎ，　Ｉ　ｍｉｓｓ　ｙｏｕ　ｔｏｏ！　＝）

Ｍｙ　ｔｒｉｐ　ｔｏ　Ｅａｓｔ　Ｍａｌａｙｓｉａ　ｈａｓ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｇｒｅａｔ．　Ｍｙ　ｃｏｕｓｉｎｓ　ｈａｖｅ　ｇｒｏｗｎ　ｓｏ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　８　ｙｅａｒｓ　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔ　ｍｅｔ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ　ｈａｒｄｌｙ　ｒｅｃｏｇｎｉｓｅ　ｔｈｅｍ！　Ｉ　ｔｏｏｋ　ａ　ｐｉｃｔｕｒｅ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｆａｍｉｌｙ　ｐｏｔｒａｉｔ　ａｎｄ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｐｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｕｐ　ｗｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ．　＝）
Ｉ　ａｍ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｔｅｘｔｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｏｔｈｅｒｓ　ｂｕｔ　ｍｏｓｔ　ｐｅｏｐｌｅ　ａｒｅ　ｂｕｓｙ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｅｘａｍｓ．．　Ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｒａｔｈｅｒ　ｄｉｓｔｒａｃｔｉｎｇ．．ｂｕｔ　ｏｈ　ｗｅｌｌ．．
Ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｉｓ　ａ　ｃｈａｎｇｅ　ｏｆ　ｐｌａｎｓ　ｆｏｒ　Ｄｅｃｅｍｂｅｒ　ａｇａｉｎ．I am getting pretty tired and I remember that I have always been bad at planning and better at spontaneous things.
Perhaps this is a sign.
perhaps I am just too tired to bother anymore,
Either way, age is catching up. (pun DEFINITELY　ｉｎｔｅｎｄｅｄ）

Ｍｉｋｅ，　ｉｆ　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｓｉｎｇｌｅ　ａｔ　３０，　ｌｅｔ＇ｓ　ｇｅｔ　ｍａｒｒｉｅｄ　ｏｋａｙ？　Ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ　ｗａｉｔｅｄ　５　ｙｅａｒｓ．．Ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｉｎ　ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ　１１，　ｉｆ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｗａｉｔｉｎｇ，ｗｅ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｔｉｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｋｎｏｔ．
ＲＯＦＬ．

Ｎｉｃｋ，　ｓｈｏｏｔ　ｍｅ　ａｌｒｅａｄｙ．　＊ｈｕｇ＊

♣

2009/11/05 || 11:38 am

The phone came. The phone came!

My white iPhone is everything I wished it to be.

I said a big thank you to my daddy and he looked at me with a sideways glance. Sheesh.

LOL..

Still waiting for the puppy.

Just came back from Damansara today,

going to Sarawak tomorrow.

I am really tired.

Need to pack, need to watch drama, need to relax

♣

2009/11/04 || 12:34 pm

IT IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

now, to pack for sarawak trip.

and to wait for the puppy.

and to wait for the phone.

and to unpack in the new place.

BLEAH.

♣

2009/11/03 || 4:14 am

omg. going subang.
omg. got my first offer.
omg. panicking for exam tomorrow.
omg. omg. omg.

♣

2009/11/01 || 4:08 am

I suddenly realised I have not blogged about the Langkawi trip... or plans for it anyway. The continuous absence from blogging has made me absent minded as well!

Initially I was all hyped up for the trip in December, excited.. I told my parents about the trip and my daddy said yes, albeit a little reluctantly..

but nearer to the exams, I realised that the crowd was not who I was really comfortable to go with.

Couples all around and I felt that the trip might be awkward since I was the only other girl. Plus it did not help that my mummy started firing questions at me about the trip and the answers were not pretty. Soon enough, my mummy said NO to the trip. Part of me was upset but another part of me felt relieved that I did not have to make the decision to go or not to.

However things soon spiraled down a black hole. I got stressed, friends were upset, and the trip is now unconfirmed. I think I upset a friend by complaining too much to him, and another by concealing some facts until later.

But I remember when I met them all and I felt totally out of place and retarded. When I went off and re-met up with them, my friend immediately assured me that she was not upset with me. I think it was obvious that I was trying to avoid the topic as I was talking about something else, avoiding eye contact, doing everything I could to change the subject. I also knew that he had told her about everything that has occurred. It unnerved me that they had been talking about me behind my back and later to me.. I know that it is normal for friends to talk to other friends about another friend, but when they talk to that friend after that, I find it awkward.

I know, and I am thankful that the entire conversation took place. Things slowly morphed back to normal after that, but the awkwardness of the situation cannot be forgotten and till now, I am afraid of EVER going back to that situation.

On a more cheerful note, I have received permission from daddy to go out on my birthday. He did not set a curfew so I think it is pretty much free-reign as long as I do not go overboard. =D Looking forward to chilling out with the handful of people. =)

Now, to continue my drama craze!

~~200 pounds beauty~~

Fated to love you

Princess Hours (4th time rewatching)

I wish I could let go. I wish I could erase it all. I am, but it is still tugging at the corner of my heart.